the Shira Rose

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Body Positive

This is Why I Don’t Praise Weight Loss

Let me start off by saying that I genuinely love giving people compliments. I love spreading kindness and when it comes to compliments, I don’t hold back. With that being said, I will not compliment someone’s weight loss and I don’t think you should either for the following reasons.

Complimenting weight loss reinforces the myth that being smaller is considered better.

It also places the value of who you are as a human being on your body size. I would hope that we wouldn’t define ourselves by the dress size we wear but instead by who we are as people and how we choose to live our lives.

We live in a world where we’re constantly told that being fat is the worst thing you can be. Like it’s some sort of plague- oh wait, it is! It’s an actual epidemic. We’re telling fat people they need to be eradicated and that’s a huge problem considering we come in a variety of shapes and sizes and fat people are not going anywhere. I will not participate in reinforcing the idea that you are now more worthy of acceptance and love because you shrunk a few sizes.

Someone’s weight loss can be from a sickness, severe stress, or an eating disorder.

I have two recent examples that happened in my life. I posted a picture of my grandmother and I at my cousin’s wedding. Someone sent me a message saying that they were jealous of my grandmother’s shrinking waist line. Well, the truth is my grandmother recently lost too much weight and could not eat because my grandfather has been in a coma for the last few months.

The other example is a friend of mine who recently relapsed with anorexia. She went from being considered chubby or fat to a more average weight and of course no one suspects an eating disorder in people in higher weight bodies. Well, every time she gets a compliment from an acquaintance telling her to keep it up, etc, it’s reinforcing her eating disorder behaviors. She’s being praised for starving herself and no one knows!

eating disorder

The problem is that people suffer from eating disorders in ALL body sizes so you truly cannot tell when someone is suffering. My friend does not need praise for starving and purging the little she does eat.

You never know why someone lost weight so it’s better not to comment on it.

And lastly, research shows that almost everyone (around 95%!) who diets will regain the weight back within a few years – sometimes ending up at an even higher weight than before the diet. I wouldn’t want to compliment someone’s weight loss and contribute to them feeling badly later on when they likely gain it back.

Here are examples of compliments you can give that are NOT body or weight related:

You’re intelligent.

You matter a lot to me.

I love your creativity.

You have amazing taste in —-.

You are so kindhearted.

I wish more people were like you.

I wrote this post originally for NEDA blog here. Read more about my thoughts on dieting here and why the term “clean eating” is dangerous AF here.

2 Major Tips On How To Get A Beach Body

I’m a huge fan of Escapa Living (remember this adorable colorful tassel dress?) and I’m excited to partner with them today to share this off the shoulder tassel dress I’ve been loving. The vibrant print is giving me life and making me so impatient for summer! Escapada Living also recently expanded their sizing to include plus sizes 0-3x which makes me even happier to be able to partner with them today. Now… let’s talk about about how to get a beach body.
escapada living

I hope you’re paying close attention because there are two important steps for (more…)

IDGAF About Your Diet Susan

I challenge you to look at every single long term research study on diets- there aren’t that many that look past the 18 month mark. Why is that? Because studies show time and time again that that the majority of dieters will regain the weight (if not more), regardless of the diet they go on by the 2-5 year mark.

Almost anyone can successfully lose weight on a diet. But unless you’re that minority unicorn, chances are you’ll keep regaining the weight.
IDGAF about your diet susan (more…)

This Is An Eating Disorder

One of my dear friends wrote this powerful piece on how it feels to live with an eating disorder. I thought I’d share this in honor of National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Please scroll to the bottom of this post for a list of resources available for those seeking help. If you are struggling, you do not have to go through this alone. Thank you “C” for being brave enough to share this, even anonymously.

I also want to be clear that this story is ONE version of an eating disorder. Many people suffer with no medical complications and many people suffer in average and above average weight bodies. No matter your size, you deserve help.