“Why can’t you share your message in a ‘nicer’ way without being so ANGRY?”
I’ll tell you why. Because learning to get angry is therapeutic and important AF. Instead of directing my anger inward and starving my body to conform to our society’s sick and narrow beauty ideals, I’m working on channeling that anger externally, exactly where it belongs- onto diet culture.
I’ve struggled with an eating disorder since the age of 10 and spent my teens and early 20’s in and out of treatment. I started my fashion blog when I was around 24 or 25 as a fun, creative outlet while I was looking for jobs after graduate school. A few years in, it had grown a lot bigger than I anticipated and the fashion piece wasn’t enough for me anymore.
I started to become more vocal about the things I was passionate about professionally and personally. These topics included body acceptance, health at every size, the problems with dieting, and the dangers of weight stigma. I felt that I had the privilege of having this platform and I wanted to use it for more than just fashion. If I could help just one person on their intuitive eating journey or show them there were alternatives to living in diet culture, it would all be worth it.
I started getting daily messages from women thanking me for helping them on the path to intuitive eating and for showing them they didn’t have to spend the rest of their lives dieting and fighting their bodies. It was the biggest fucking honor and privilege. But behind the scenes, I was struggling with my own eating disorder.
Of course no one knew. I don’t even remember all the reasons I created for why I was in California so often. I had kept my eating disorder a secret for the 6 years I’d been blogging because I was afraid that being open that I was struggling with a mental illness while also being a therapist would ruin my career and have people think I was a hypocrite. I also didn’t want my entire identity to be this person with an eating disorder because it had already taken so much from me. And by so much, I mean entire decades of my life.
But I was so damn tired. I was tired of keeping this secret that took up so much of my life. I was tired of pretending to be okay when I was dying inside every day. I was tired of not using my voice to share the realities of what eating disorders looked like and I wanted to start talking about the sad state of eating disorder treatment.
So after 6 years of keeping this eating disorder a secret (more…)
Over the last few years I’ve had the privilege of using my social media platforms to promote the idea that there is an alternative to spending your life devoted to dieting and shrinking your body. When I talk about the concepts of Health At Every Size, body liberation, and intuitive eating, I get the same few questions again and again. Today I’m going to be answering the most frequently asked questions. I hope you find this helpful!
What if my doctor is telling me to lose weight for health reasons?
Every single medical condition that exists happens to people in thin bodies AND fat bodies. A doctor telling you that weight loss is the answer is a lazy answer and also pretty concerning considering that there is not a single study out there proven to help people lose weight long term. The majority of people (on ANY diet) gain the weight back plus more by the 2-5 year mark. And yo-yo fluctuations cause all the medical concerns we associate with fat people. Weight cycling, one of the most common outcomes of dieting, causes diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc. If you were to stay consistently at a higher weight rather than diet again and again, you’d likely be a lot healthier.